My Hearts - Chapter 29
by HadaGracia
Summary: I was reading the fic My Hearts Will Go On by shelwass on Teaspoon, and when I got to the end of chapter 28 I was slammed with an idea. So, this is an AU for chapter 29 (and beyond) of MHWGO, and, while I'd recommend reading the first 28 chapters of shelwass' story beforehand, I believe I've made it understandable enough that you don't necessarily have to in order to get this one.


The Doctor had never felt more helpless in all his lives than he did now, handcuffed to the Titanic with Rose. And after he had finally given in and told her how he felt about her - how he'd _always_ felt about her - and he'd learned that she felt the same way... and they'd made love so many times (_why_ did they have to go and do it in the car? He knew they'd be cutting it close even if they didn't get caught - but really, what were the chances that they wouldn't be caught? He'd said it before: jeopardy-friendly).

"Rose," he murmured, "Rose, listen."

As she raised her eyes to meet his, he was struck by how stunningly beautiful she was even in the face of such peril. "What is it, Doctor?" she asked.

_Amazing,_ he thought, _even when there's no way out, she still says my name with such love... such reverence..._ He swallowed. "You remember before, when you... when you said you'll still love me if I regenerate again?"

"Of course," she replied without hesitation. "Of course I do, Doctor."

He nodded.

"What about it?"

He looked away.

"Doctor!" She raised her voice. "_What about it?_"

He pressed his eyes tightly shut, wishing he could block out the sound of panic in her voice now as he whispered his solemn mantra, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Doctor!" she shouted.

His eyes snapped open. "Rose, you have to be strong. Just hold on, and I _will_ get you out of here..." He glanced at her significantly as he continued, "...even if it's not _me_ who gets you out."

Rose blinked a few times. "What? But-"

"Rose, please," he interrupted her, "don't make this any harder for me than it already-"

"Harder for... hard for _you_?! Doctor!"

He silenced her with a look. "Yes, Rose, hard for _me_," he snapped. "Regeneration's no picnic - even if I wasn't absolute rubbish at it - and the only times I've done it I've had no choice in the matter and no control whatsoever as to the outcome."

Rose's lip quivered. He had never spoken about any other times he had regenerated before. It was heart-wrenching to think of him in that situation, and from the way he was talking about it it was something that really frightened him. "So you've... I mean, you'd died a couple times before I met you, then?"

The Doctor exhaled sharply through his nose and averted his gaze to the ceiling. "Eight times."

Rose's jaw dropped. "_Eight_?" she repeated incredulously.

"Yes, eight. Eight before I met you and one since. Tonight will be my tenth."

Rose was struck dumb for a moment at this declaration. When she found her voice she muttered, "You can't really mean... that you intend to..."

"It may be the only way. I can't see us getting out of these cuffs before the ship starts sinking, but I can break them if I regenerate."

"You... you're serious. You're actually planning to... but how...?"

"Aw, it shouldn't be too bad; contrary to popular belief, drowning is a quick and silent death," the Doctor said matter-of-factly. "It's only those that are near-drowning who show signs of distress in the water; once a person is actually drowning, they'll sink rather peacefully - usually in under a minute."

Rose's mouth was agape throughout his explanation, then she slowly shook her head. "I _meant_ how will you break the handcuffs?" Her inquiry hardly made a sound, but the Doctor was able to read her lips.

"Ah," he responded, leaning his head toward the bar they were chained to in order to pinch his earlobe between the finger and thumb of one hand. "Well, after my seventh regeneration, I was able to kick down the steel door of a morgue."

Rose raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Why would you do that?" she asked.

"Um..." He stopped stroking his ear then, wondering absently whether he would maintain that quirk - _Probably not,_ he figured with an indifferent sniff - and what new tics he might have in his next body. "To get out," he finally said just as the room shook with the impact of the Titanic hitting the iceberg.

Rose screamed as the floor shifted beneath their feet, jarring them so that their legs buckled and their full weight was forced onto their bound wrists.

"-The fuck was that!?" shouted one of the men who had been charged with guarding the two stowaways/suspected saboteurs; a few seconds and scurried footsteps later, the post was abandoned, leaving the Doctor and Rose unattended.

"Rose!" the Doctor cried out, righting himself with apparent ease. "Rose, get up," he urged her, "you have to be able to stand, Rose, please."

Heartened by his encouragement, she struggled to her feet despite the strain on her arms. "Okay, so... now what?"

The Doctor sighed. "Now we wait for the room to start filling with water. Once the water level is high enough..." he trailed off, doing a few quick calculations in his head.

Rose shook her head in disbelief. _Don't say it, Doctor, please don't..._ she pleaded silently.

"I'll be able to kill myself," he finished shortly.

At those words, Rose gasped. She knew that was what his idea entailed, but it was the fact that he was so blunt about it that really drove the reality of it home.

Hearing her reaction, he moved his hand to cover hers - since they were cuffed to the same bar, they were mercifully still able to touch. "Rose," he said softly, "I need you to be strong for me. It's daunting, what I plan to do, but the thought of saving you is what will make me able to go through with it."

She shook her head minutely, then nodded. "Alright."

"Good," the Doctor whispered, then leaned in for a quick kiss as - unbeknownst to Rose - he engaged his respiratory bypass in order to let it run dry so it wouldn't prolong his death when the time came.

* * *

"Rose," the Doctor called in a hushed voice as the water lapped near his neck.

"D-doctor?" she answered as she looked up, her teeth chattering.

"Not long now," he promised, burying his face in her hair. "Remember what I said; you have to be strong for me and hold on."

Rose nodded, sticking the tip of her tongue out at him as she stuttered cheekily, "I-i'll never let go."

The Doctor returned her smile sadly, his eyes moist as he mumbled, "S-see you... in a minute, then." Unlike her, he was not as susceptible to the cold; his difficulty speaking came, not from the chill of the water washing in around them, but from fear. Looking at her one last time, he steeled himself as he exhaled all the air from his lungs, then dipped his face under the surface of the water and breathed in deeply.

Rose watched, horrified, as her lover hung facedown in the water. _He's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead,_ she told herself over and over again, but the longer he remained unmoving the more hysterical she became.

* * *

The Doctor's eyes shot open and looked around. He wasn't breathing. Why wasn't he breathing? Oh, because he was underwater. Why was he underwater again? Right, the Titanic was sinking. Wait, hadn't that already happened? He distinctly remembered clinging to an iceberg...

_Rose!_ he suddenly realized, and lifted his head out of the water with a gasp.

There Rose was, her arm draped over the bar that the two of them were handcuffed to, coughing and sputtering. ...Why was she coughing and sputtering? Her head was above the water, so-

"Oh, Doctor!" Her voice was so hoarse he could barely hear her, even with his superior senses. "I was so worried! I thought you were..."

"Rose." He pulled his arms downward, ripping through the cuffs as though they were made of paper, and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm here, I'm all here. ...at least, I think I am; haven't had time for a full check yet. I know I've got two arms," - he hugged her tighter for emphasis - "two legs," - he kicked his feet, propelling himself closer to her - "ooh! Am I ginger this time?" he asked excitedly.

She shook her head. "Mm-mm," she mumbled sleepily.

"Hey, come on, Rose, don't you be giving up on me now. We can still get out of this in one piece."

"Mm-hm..." she agreed even as her eyes were drifting shut in surrender to the cold.

"Rose. Rose, keep your eyes open. You have to stay awake..."

"My Doctor... I love you... my Doctor..." she muttered deliriously.

"I love you too, Rose, now come on." He took her still-cuffed wrists in his hands and slowly pulled them apart until the chains that held her bound snapped. He then turned his back to her and guided her arms around his neck. "Now, you hold on to me, and I'll get us both to safety."

Rose obligingly clung to him, humming under her breath as her head lolled on his shoulder, "Hm, Jose-hmm, in hn flahah ma-hnn..."

_Hang in there, Rose,_ the Doctor sighed as he began to swim out into the flooded hallways of the doomed oceanliner. _We'll be safe soon, you'll see..._

* * *

Hours later, the Doctor stared mutely at the glassy-eyed Rose Tyler he held in his arms. She had been in the water too long and froze to death... and damn his Time Lord physiology that he wasn't affected the same way! He pounded a fist against the iceberg he was floating alongside, not caring when it emitted an ominous _crack_.

"Oi!" shouted a gruff voice. "D'you mind?"

"Oh, put a sock in it, Niner," the Doctor replied irritably as he brushed an ice-coated lock of his own long hair out of his face, "I've already got half a mind to cut you off at Eleven, but I could always save myself the heartbreak and prevent you from getting into double digits at all."


End file.
